so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
