Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?

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(760): View more from California

is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.

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(559): View more from California

We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together

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(443): View more from Maryland

i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.

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(660): View more from Missouri

My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA

(816): View more from Missouri

Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?

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(763): View more from Minnesota

All I need is to get out and get laid

(612): View more from Minnesota

Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for

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