she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
