Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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