i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
