TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He keeps bees of course he's weird
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
