so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
