so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
