Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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