If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
