so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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