ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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