the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
