You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
