we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
