If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
