This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
