How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
