i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
