I feel great
I just peed on a car
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
