dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
