fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
