I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
