Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just had sex on a roof
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
