The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
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