ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
