I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
