think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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