Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
