What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You took a bar mat shot.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Randomize
