happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
