No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
