i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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