Sponge bath it is.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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