He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It's never too late to be topless.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
