I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
