The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
