i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
it glows. i had to have it.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
