Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
