scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
