You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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