Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
