so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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