Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
