You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
