i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
