i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
