why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
