have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
