Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
