I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
