I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
