2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
