No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
