I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
