Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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